Monday, August 18, 2008


seriously tho, i love the olympics. 1 word: Phelps (is that a word?), 100m dash (that's what it was called when i went to elementary school), gymnastics (cept for the convoluted scoring), and boxing (usually), and wrestling, decatholon. but there are numerous other events in the Oh!Limp-Icks, which belong there, but not in the Olympics. let's get a petition goin or something, in this order:
1- equestrian. riding a fuckin horse?? i know it's's driving a ups truck! and those guys and gals have to carry our heavy frickin packs!!! at least when they do that jumping obstacle course there's the chance that someone will fall, but what's with those stupid hats?? more importantly there's the "dressage" event. Yay (can i lisp gayly when saying yay?). pretty horsies prancin and dancing here and there. oh look at that sweet lil pony!!! he's just so precious! there's only one way this would be legit: put the fuckin judges under the horses and let them dance on them! the end.
2- shooting! give me a fuckin break. there's a lot wrong here. mainly they're usin air guns and air rifles!@! oooooh i hope i hit da bullseye! there's a fuckin gold medal for this??? it's quite simple how they can legitimize these events: would somebody please give me the AK47?? where's the fuckin bazooka??? say hello to my lil friend? gimmie an UZI puhleeze. i'm not inta huntin furry animals but at least that would be skillful...stuff movin, jumpin, TRYING not to get shot!!! try shooting a nyc RAT!!!! that's worthy of a gold medal!!! how bout a nyc cockroach from 100 yrds!!! and no one will miss'm. but this is really what we need: a dirty harry competition where they shoot at mugger that's da shit! magnum's, glocks, etc. tiebreak goes to the peeps who do it hong kong style! western style dueling. 10 paces. or the sniper competition. lastly after those sports have been established i'd like to introduce the ghetto drive by competition! special xtra points given for the kind of ride used and whether the rims kept spinnin as they sped off! points deducted for innocents and peeps not wherein colors.
3- ping pong. PING PONG??? the game played in moldy basements, garages, and in rec centers??? no. NO fuckin way. and there ain't a thing that could be done to make this worthy of giving out medals for. well, maybe one thing. if it's a death match. i'll buy the pay per view ticket for that!!!
4- yacht racing. if it isn't bad enough these mofo's have and get to ride in yachts!!! but then they get a medal for it. it's just wrong i tell you.
5- canooing. are we really THAT desperate. row you mutherfuckers...right off a cliff. and you skulling folks follow them!
6- badminton. maybe if they were naked? then it would be funny. no way badminton is olympics material. can you picture the ancient greeks comin home from epic battles and being entertained by badminton?
7-archery. only one way this works. apple on top of the head. make that the head of the world archery association (if there is one).
8- synchronized diving. it's just gay. sorry. at least the synch swimming is something to laff about. do men synch swim? real men? i doubt it.
9- field hockey. ice hockey's enuf.
10- handball. not the kinda handball played by everyone in the world with a wall and a ball. the kind that is like a weird euro version of soccer and b ball. who plays this shit? oh yeah. some dudes in europe.
11- track cycling, all events except for the mano a mano.
12- softball. the chicks throw awefully hard (i'm sure i wouldn't touch the ball), but if i can stand watching more than 1 pitch... fuck me.
13- rythmic gymnastics. it's too easy to make fun of. but thank god it's only hot chicks (mostly) and no dudes. do you think there's a dude petitioning the commitee to let men do it?

honorable mention:
the penalty box in water polo...could anything be funnier or sadder at the same time? and those funny baby bonnets they wear! plus those dudes are fat. maybe they float better that way?

since that crap is in the olympics it's just the crime of the century that these "sports/events" aren't added immediately:
arm wrestling, thumb wrestling, mud wrestling, pool, bowling, shuffleboard (warm curling), nascar, wife carrying race, potato sack racing, dunking for apples, greased watermellon comp, punch for punch, chicken (with cars), jousting, scully, jump rope (double dutch only), pogo stick, tag, ringaleevio (sp?), darts, musical chairs, hot potato, hot dog & oyster eating, flinch, rollercoaster riding, and rock skipping.

serious sports which SHOULD be added:
all X game stuff, mma.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

california wrap (short)

it's time to leave the sunny west coast! it's early morn here at my kid bro evan's pad in the hollywood hills. off to the airport in 30 minutes. just finished an 8 day camping trip, and before that a few days at the beach in beautiful del mar, and of course starting this long trip with the san diego comic con...nearly 3 weeks ago!
major trip details and reports comin your way in the next few weeks with pics!!!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

san diego (w)rap

it's over. another s.d. con is in the bag! i'm still out here in cali, following the end of the show we stayed an xtra 5 days in Del Mar, enjoying the best surf imaginable. i'm tan, stoked, and reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady for our 8 day camping trip!!!

back to the con. it's really amazing how difficult it is to get ready for the show and then to do it. i spent a shitload of money just on shipping art! anyway it was my best set up to date. tons of gorgeous art on view. and even tho i have two 10x10 ft booths, it wasn't nearly enough space for soooo many excellent artists work. i'm aiming for 3 booths next year, and a new location!!! yep, i'm tired of treking all the way down to mexico to just see artist alley or the other stuff i like on that end. many of the old dealers from this area have already decamped, so now it's my turn.

Ashley Wood hooked me up with an incredible batch of art for the show the highlight of which was his WORLD WAR ROBOT paintings. lotsa fans came out and drooled over the art and quite a few lucky ones walked away with the original art! the premiere of our huge limited edition (50) signed and #'d silkscreen was also a great success. a few still remain, sooooo don't miss out.

it was very cool to meet and greet old and new fans, friends, customers, and peers.

and nothing would be complete without the great meals every nite in the many places we know about. awesome mexican, vietnamese, chinese, sichuan, japanese, and japanese bbq. we stuffed ourselves plenty!

finally there's the great san diego con poker tourney. last year i finished 3rd out of 60. $750 prize.
i had to represent again as a final tabler, and represent i did. new york style!! by sharing 1st place with nick barucci (we both cashed $1400 each, but i got the 1st place trophy for taking the heads up hand we played). major props to my home game player Kristen Robinson who came 3rd. way to go K!! and the only woman in the tourney to boot!

and now....we head off for 8 days of camping along the glorious kern river. fishing, hiking, swimming, and cookin out every day with my family and friends! what could be better? we have a first timer joining us this camping trip, from west longbranch new jersey: rob brown with son grant & daughter skyler.